Bearing the Brunt of Violence at Home

Hoping for love from her own family

There wasn’t a honeymoon for Tra right after she got married. In fact, her husband had to go to jail for 6 months because of an accusation of property damaging. In Vietnam, the wife becomes just another thankless source of income for the family, and her mother-in-law put her to work under harsh conditions, often insulting and beating Tra.

Tra later became pregnant but her in-laws did not believe the baby is their grandchild. They continued to beat her, sometimes on her belly and also made her work on the farm spraying insecticide – a harmful substance that expecting mothers should not be exposed to. Her husband was eventually released from prison and he too treated her with the same contempt as his parents.

Things got so unbearable and Tra decided to go home and bear her son. Thinking she would now find security and be warmly received by her family, Tra made the journey home. Her father had left home, much like how her husband left and her siblings were reluctant to help her as they did not want her to have a share of the property.

Labour was hard. Tra bore the brunt of violence, rejection, and eventually a son whom she loved fiercely. Her siblings later threw her out of the house and even though her mother intervened, the waves of insulting and beating grew to an unbearable pain.

Tra sought help from various agencies and was eventually referred to HAGAR. The staff supported Tra and her son with nutritious food, safe accommodation and healthcare. She is thankful to finally find a safe place where she and her son can thrive in.

“If I had not found this house, I would not have had anywhere else to go. I couldn’t neither go back to my husband’s family, nor my own family.”

Tra hopes that her son will not grow to become a violent man. She loves him very much and wants the best for him. With HAGAR’s support, he is now attending kindergarten and Tra is attending training courses to learn about psychological counselling. She also relaxes through the therapeutic arts activities organised by Hagar Vietnam.

Tra is able to see the beauty of life after meeting people who were once strangers but have come to sympathise with her and support her and her son through the hardship they may face.

Domestic violence is often viewed as a normal way of life. Victims face stigmatisation from the community and even their family when they speak up. In Vietnam, HAGAR works to educate and inform communities and villages to help them understand the impact of domestic violence on all family members. The cycle of violence is highly likely to propagate amongst their children who will carry it on into their families in the future.

You can protect women like Tra and prevent such violent abuse from happening in the communities of Vietnam. Support the work that HAGAR is doing by making a donation to turn the tide against domestic violence.